“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.” I love this beautiful yet simple quote from Mother Teresa. It is a great reminder to focus just on today—your day—Mother’s Day.
Mother’s Day gives us an opportunity to slow down, to be in the moment and to connect with our kids. If you have elementary school children, you may be presented with heartfelt hugs and handmade cards. If you have teenagers, the connection may involve help with planting in the garden or preparing dinner. My hope is that you are not only showered with love and appreciation, but have the opportunity to slow down and savor your relationships.
Pausing to tune in to these relationships can be difficult. We love our kids, yet we get busy with our daily tasks or frustrated by conflict. Work schedules, school activities, and ever-present screens interrupt our intention to connect, to pause and be present.
Presence takes practice and is accessible to all of us. Jon Kabat-Zinn refers to this presence as mindfulness: “Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.” Kabat-Zinn invites us to be aware of the present moment. It can be difficult to be solely focused on what is right in front of us, without lamenting about the past or fretting about the future. Yet, when we intentionally practice slowing down and tuning in, we are practicing mindfulness; we gain awareness.
Young children are naturally in the moment. They are typically not bothered by a past experience or worried about what may happen in the future. A five-year-old walking to school sees a lady bug. She immediately crouches down to watch it crawl. She tries to pick it up. She does not think about yesterday when she was the last one to walk into her kindergarten class. She is not worried about what will happen if she dawdles too long today. She is simply in the moment, observing the lady bug.
Moments like these provide an opportunity to pause in silence and be present to her experience. You might make an observation, "What an interesting ladybug.” If the looming school bell is calling you to move on, you might say, “How about we take a picture of the ladybug so that you can make it to school on time.”
It can be difficult to notice these moments with teenagers. They may come in the form of complaints about homework or angst about a friend. Try to be present in these times without judgment or even advice. Simply observe and listen to your child without evaluating the interaction; without evaluating your child; without evaluating yourself. Listen for your teen’s feelings and reflect what he might be feeling. “That sounds frustrating.”
When we practice mindfulness in these ordinary moments and follow our child’s lead, we build connection. When does this occur for you? Can you let go of your running “to-do” list and listen? Can you step away from emails or social media and simply observe?
Taking time to connect in the moment does more for our relationships than we can even know. “We have only today. Let us begin.”
Mother’s Day gives us an opportunity to slow down, to be in the moment and to connect with our kids. If you have elementary school children, you may be presented with heartfelt hugs and handmade cards. If you have teenagers, the connection may involve help with planting in the garden or preparing dinner. My hope is that you are not only showered with love and appreciation, but have the opportunity to slow down and savor your relationships.
Pausing to tune in to these relationships can be difficult. We love our kids, yet we get busy with our daily tasks or frustrated by conflict. Work schedules, school activities, and ever-present screens interrupt our intention to connect, to pause and be present.
Presence takes practice and is accessible to all of us. Jon Kabat-Zinn refers to this presence as mindfulness: “Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.” Kabat-Zinn invites us to be aware of the present moment. It can be difficult to be solely focused on what is right in front of us, without lamenting about the past or fretting about the future. Yet, when we intentionally practice slowing down and tuning in, we are practicing mindfulness; we gain awareness.
Young children are naturally in the moment. They are typically not bothered by a past experience or worried about what may happen in the future. A five-year-old walking to school sees a lady bug. She immediately crouches down to watch it crawl. She tries to pick it up. She does not think about yesterday when she was the last one to walk into her kindergarten class. She is not worried about what will happen if she dawdles too long today. She is simply in the moment, observing the lady bug.
Moments like these provide an opportunity to pause in silence and be present to her experience. You might make an observation, "What an interesting ladybug.” If the looming school bell is calling you to move on, you might say, “How about we take a picture of the ladybug so that you can make it to school on time.”
It can be difficult to notice these moments with teenagers. They may come in the form of complaints about homework or angst about a friend. Try to be present in these times without judgment or even advice. Simply observe and listen to your child without evaluating the interaction; without evaluating your child; without evaluating yourself. Listen for your teen’s feelings and reflect what he might be feeling. “That sounds frustrating.”
When we practice mindfulness in these ordinary moments and follow our child’s lead, we build connection. When does this occur for you? Can you let go of your running “to-do” list and listen? Can you step away from emails or social media and simply observe?
Taking time to connect in the moment does more for our relationships than we can even know. “We have only today. Let us begin.”